Other Candies That Deserve Their Own Movies

Posted: April 23, 2014 in Movies


‘I Have a Dream: Martin Luther King Jr. Addresses the Peeple’ Washington Post 2014 Peeps Diorama Winner

Now that Peeps have finally gone big screen with the announcement that Adam Rifkin (Detroit Rock City) has optioned the right to make the marshmallow treats into a movie, it is time for other candy giants to get their cinematic due. 

Here are my picks for the next big sugary film adventure:

swedish fish 2

5.  Swedish Fish.  Sweden and Fish= a corner on the serious existential foreign film market and the budding Christian cinema revival.  The world needs more downer cinema with an uplifting message that balances consumption, digestion and elimination with a solid kick of wine and happy sea life flowing in an endless ocean of sweetness.   Besides how else can they explain that green fish is not lime, but pineapple flavor, while yellow is a lemon-lime flavor (according to a Food Network expose)?  The inevitable American remake will be called Finding Nemo 2.

4.  Sour Patch Kids.  Sour. Sweet.  Gone.  The Sour Patch kids slogan makes for a great horror movie tagline.  Besides these candies film creepy no matter what commercial they are in.  They make for the perfect gore sidekick next to Jason, Leatherface, Freddy or Michael Myers. 


3. Pez.  The tie-ins in from Star Wars, Disney and Marvel are already in place.  Pez is the only candy that can offer both an Avengers and Justice League sequel in the same movie.  Think of the neat weapons that a Pez dispenser can be turned into!  Perhaps they can be folded into the next Transformers sequel?  Please Lego Movie dynamic duo of Phil Lord and Christopher Miller jump on this before the Russo brothers or JJ Abrams do!  


2. Gummy Bears, Worms and Brains.  Disney already did the Bear version a few years back, but no one has done anything with worms and brains.  They reek of all kinds of horror possibilities.  Personally Paranorman 2 is an ideal fit for these gelatinous nasties.  Also a Frankenstein reboot offers significant brain and organ employment opportunities.   Animal varieties beg for a Jumanji fit.   


1. M&M’s.  The M’s already have a huge following.  Their commercials have the female M’s pushing off their unsuspecting male counterparts onto voracious and curvy chocaholics, being smuggled in car trunks to be diced and sprinkled onto ice cream to the joy of a European drug czar speaking in a fiendishly subtitled Slavic language, and are lovingly cooked to death by an admiring Glee cast member.   There are  over 14 years of plot lines to be pulled from the commercials.   The world wants to love and eat them, which makes the M’s perfect for a Zombie Apocalypse take-off like World War Z.  Brangelina can star as the scientists that must prevent a world wide milk chocolate melt down. 

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